Ranting about my life

Okay, I just want to vent and this is going to be straight from my head to the computer.

Just imagine you are a very pretty girl and everyone likes you….just imagine that you are popular and you like how you look…then one day a “disease” like my own cystic acne takes over your face and your life.

I use to love to go out in public, I use to talk on the phone, I use to visit my friends (I had friends).
Now, since my acne condition of at least six years:

  1. I don’t go out in public
  2. I do not talk on the phone
  3. I do not have any friends 
Now given those Facts that I am in “seclusion”  because I choose to do this, why do not others RESPECT that?  In other words, if the phone rings my (lets say they are my ( room mates )
make me get the phone, I tell them no and they refuse to get it.  I just don’t want to talk to anyone!
I do not own a cell phone, why?
I do not want to answer calls, or call back anyone.
If I so choose to then I will.
I do not go in public, and my spouse makes me RIDE IN THE CAR…for what? To humiliate me?!  He doesn’t get it, even if I don’t want to go – I have to sit in the car and wait for him to shop or what have you.  That’s BULL__________________!
My friends are being build online, why?  Well, no one seems to JUDGE me..they cannot see me or my face.  I am comfortable and relaxed and I can be ME!
When I started this blog I was going to just keep doing writing challenges and etc but now it’s taken a turn for what I call the “2012 Jackie GET REAL” blog!
I am so sick of others NOT understanding ME…and my condition.  It’s all about ME ME ME – others…that is going to have to stop.
I am starting a new job on Monday, and yes I have to work or I would not leave my house.  I am praying for the courage and strength to accomplish this, with great fears…and with the added money get to a surgeon to fix my face!
Am I wrong to rant?
Please comment below, I do not wish to bring anyone down, I just have to start addressing what is important to me and my feelings.
Thanks for coming by and reading my rant.

About Jackie Paulson LOVES BOOKS

About Jackie Paulson You love to help others solve problems you are Intuitive; (Jackie uses her intuitive skills to help others solve their problems). YOU SEE THINGS OTHERS CANNOT SEE. You are great at picking up on peoples moods and predicting the future. (Jackie can predict future events by reading and feeling others moods). You know what others are THINKING before they speak a word. (Jackie is a true empath because she knows what other people are thinking before they say a word). Your Purpose in life is to SHOW LOVE TO OTHERS (Jackie can show love to others even to those who have been emotionally, mentally, physically, verbally abused). People turn to Jackie for Direction and Hope and New Ideas. (Jackie can lead others in the right direction and bring hope when there seems to be none left). I DO BOOK REVIEWS email me at jackiepaulson8@outlook.com
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10 Responses to Ranting about my life

  1. Kate Kresse says:

    Jackie—good for you for venting. I go through some of the same kinds of feelings as I have progressive tumors (facial and other places) d/t neorofibrosis and then in the last year got Bell’s Palsy which has caused some paralysis on half of my face. Makes me REALLY upset and self conscious. I totally get it.

  2. Vikki says:

    (((((hugs))))) honey 🙂

    You rant all you like ok 😉

    I know how you feel though, it’s like when people say beauty is on the inside and you just want to scream at them, yeah that’s true, but I want a tiny little bit on the outside too!!!! 😦


    • Jackie Paulson says:

      Vikki I hear ya! I cannot wait to start my job on Monday, there was a week delay because of the company did not meet code violations for bldg..so I just have to stay strong until I build up some money to get my lazar treatments.

  3. nelle says:

    You plough on, and you do what you believe best, and I admire those things as well as the courage it takes to write about your experience. You go, Jackie!

  4. It’s good to vent now and then. Jackie is there some kind of support group you can join that would truly provide support?

  5. Jackie Paulson says:

    Carolyn, because I am on an mild anti depressant and a water pill, they will not give me acutane and they have to monitor blood levels, etc, here in IL… the only way is probably Lazar removal now with the scars that have been built up now… just when one heals another pops up somewhere else, I am 45 and too old for this crap. I just need to make some money and get it done…I soso appreciative you stopping by…HUGS back to you and your son, Jackie

  6. Jackie, Have you heard of Acutane? One of my sons had cystic acne and it is very hard to get. I had to go to several doctors and demand it, but it totally cured him and it never came back. If you can get it, it will cure your skin.

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